


dislocated

by fouronforeplay



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Gen, SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 103 - Freeform, sort of? Mostly just introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-21 21:55:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11366415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fouronforeplay/pseuds/fouronforeplay
Summary: It’s unthinkable– for half of your soul, half of yourself, to simply vanish when his purpose is completed.





	dislocated

Vax always had a knack for disappearing.

He’d wander off mid-conversation, fading into a nearby shadow, and reappear from somewhere unseen moments or hours later just to make Vex jump. It’s made her particularly observant, trying to beat him at their own sort of hide-and-seek.

His skills kept them fed and in coin when they first left Syngorn, kept him alive when they began fighting monsters with the rest of Vox Machina. When she asked, Vax taught Vex the secrets of how best to hide, telling her he hoped that it would help keep her safe when he could not.

They’ve made jokes about it for years– Vax is so stealthy he snuck onto another plane of existence, Vax is so stealthy Vex didn’t realize he was there even though she could still see him, Vax is so stealthy that goblin forgot he was even in this fight. (Vax is so stealthy he faded away from the fabric of the universe entirely, Vax is so stealthy everyone forgot he ever existed.)

So when they land in the Feywild, Vex, newly restored to life, asks, “Where’s Vax?”

She doesn’t assume the worst. She can’t let herself. She has to assume he’s just so stealthy he’s avoided her gaze again. Vex looks to Keyleth, whose face is just beginning to crumble; to her Percival, who can’t meet her eye; to Grog and Pike in turn. Then Scanlan shows Vex what’s left of her brother– his armor and boots, some daggers, a handful of dust. 

Hours of planning, hours of mourning, and a precious few hours of sleep pass. Vax reappears from somewhere unseen, whole and hale, and Vex knows it must be a trick. “When has a random miracle ever just happened?” Percy asks.

Though Vex is sure he’s right, she can’t help but hope that Vax might’ve just pulled one more disappearing trick– until he admits to the deal he made with his goddess, until Pike proves he’s really alive again by Her hand. Of course there would be a cost, and Vex regrets not staying by her brother’s side in death to help him bargain.

Vex knows in that moment that there will soon come a day when he’ll fade into the shadows one last time and not return. 

She can see it in her mind’s eye, a cruel echo of every time he’s ever snuck out of a room to avoid a conversation or disappeared into a corner so he could surprise an enemy. Vax steps backward into a shadow and becomes one with the empty darkness forever. 

For years afterward, when something suddenly appears in her peripheral vision, she’ll automatically turn to tease her brother before remembering. She'll assume he's in step right behind her when she walks, expect a dagger to zip past her ear as she hunts, guard her bacon in anticipation of his nimble fingers at breakfast. She'll open her bedroom door, expecting to see him sitting on the bed to ambush her with a talk about feelings while he braids her hair. It happened during their year apart, more often than Vex would admit. She’s just begun to learn what it’s like for her to exist apart from Vax, and she doesn’t even know if she likes the person she is without him. It’s unthinkable– for half of your soul, half of yourself, to simply vanish when his purpose is completed.

Vex packs the thought away into that box in the back of her mind where their mother lives, and sniffles aloud.

She cuts her brother, and he bleeds red onto her hands as she heals him. She jokes about having laid claim to his boots. Vex keeps her eyes trained firmly on Vax, and for now, they move forward together. 

**Author's Note:**

> So basically I had a lot of feelings at 2am about those jokes about Vax rolling so high on stealth he just stops existing completely, because that's now a legitimate possibility for how his last scene is going to go, and my brain made words happen. First time writing for this fandom, though I've thought about it a lot. Unbeta'd because of aforementioned 2am. Might decide I hate this upon a morning reread? But I decided to put it out into the world just 'cause.
> 
> Getting a coherent, vaguely fic-shaped pile of sentences out is a rarity for me, but I make people feel their own feelings on twitter @wiseaus if you want to come find me.


End file.
